I've eaten more pizza working in advertising than when I was in college.

Grizzly Bear

How cool would it be if your voice actually sounded like Imogen Heap. Everything would be so epic.

One time, a woman standing behind me mistook me for a woman.

It was time to get a haircut.

You know those TV shows that show grocers getting robbed on camera? Well, what if anyone the grocer thinks looks shady, he just threatened them with a bat? That way he never gets robbed and he can do business with who ever he wants. That’s what the cashier did in a small convenient store Jacob and I went to the other night.

Ah, first New York experiences.

It would be dumb to live everyday like it were your last. If that were the case we would all be eating junk food, getting drunk and having promiscuous sex all the time.

Sounds like my friends.

When you’re locked outside your new apartment in Brooklyn, New York, remember to ration your wheat thins.